There comes a time when you need a song that some won't sing, a song about that lump in your puke or that thing that got stuck in your ass when you were drunk. You need a band that comes from the middle class ghetto of the lower island ready to drink, bleed and maybe touch your sister. You need a band that will play in the bowels and maybe also sing about the stitches in your bowels. The GNAR GNARS are these heroes, these heroes that are ready for whatever greasy festivities you come up with as long as it involves three paper joints or maybe your grandmother's lack of teeth. They go by the names James, Hoon, Gino and Brains, fresh out of the Hillside Whorehouse. I got in touch with Gino to get more details:
AU: What is gnar?
GINO: Gnar is omnipotent. Gnar cannot be taught or learned. Gnar is both repulsive and delightful,and under the correct circumstances it will leave physical and emotional scars.......Gnar should be handled with care and yet abused to the fullest extent of ones depravity. It's basically just fucking Gnar.
AU: How gnar does your music get
GINO: Our tunes get so Gnar that we had to say it twice to find a name Gnar enough for the Gnar Gnars. Between the four of us we have a combined total of nearly 60 years of being Gnar in one band or another. So as you can imagine, that's pretty fucking Gnar. We have been called the Gnarest band of our generation by this dude we know.
AU: How often do you guys get on the road?
GINO: we try to tour for a couple weeks a year and maybe couple 3-5 day b.c. Alberta trips but we decided (I decided) not to tour this year for personal reasons. You have to understand, a tour bus full of assholes like us gets Gnar as fuck. I got so emotionally damaged last tour that my psychologist told me another tour could send me over the edge. That and we need to write a bunch of more songs so that next year when we tour our fan won't be disappointed.
AU: I hear you guys have an album coming out, any details?
GINO: We have been working on our album, yet to be named for some time now. We are recording it ourselves in our studio so we are really taking our time to get the best takes we can. For once we don't have any pressure to get things done fast since we aren't paying studio costs. So we are really taking advantage of that. We are hoping to have the actual recording done in the near future and then we just have to send it off for mixing and mastering etc. We are also taking the time to pic the right person to do all of that part of it. So hopefully we will be spreading the Gnar like the deadly Ebola virus in the near future
AU: Any crazy stories? Do you guys have a raccoon that can roll joints?
GINO: We don't have a raccoon that rolls joints but if you know of any we are hiring. One particular story that comes to mind, and kinda sums up the Gnar Gnars happened outside of Funky Winkerbeans. We were parked across the road waiting for our show to start, in front of a greasy little bar, the name of shich I cant recall, and we were in a truck with a fairly loud stereo. Earlier that day I had discover a phone app called The Fart Machine. It's exactly what it sounds like. Anyway I figured out I could plug it into the car stereo and if we opened the doors of the truck we could fill that block of Hastings st with obscene fart sounds. So every time someone walked by, or cam out of the greasy fucking bar we would blast these immense fart sounds. Later on after we played our show, I went to bring the truck a little closer to the door of Funky's so we could load our gear into it, and as soon as I pulled out of my parking spot the cops were on my with the lights and the whole deal. As his partner walked suspiciously around the vehicle searching for drugs, terrorist, or whatever, the cop told me there had been 3 complaints about me playing my stereo too loud. He had been waiting the whole time for me to come back to the truck to bust me. So I explained that we had not in fact blasted any music and that we were messing around with fart sounds he busted out laughing. I think we made that cops night. They left us to our business, and even gave me the go ahead to pull an illegal U- turn and park illegally to load our gear. Good thing he never searched us or I wouldn't be answering these questions right now hahaha.
AU: Who would you most want to tour with?
GINO: I would enjoy touring with the Dayglo Abortins. I had the pleasure of touring Ontario with the Dayglos years ago when I was in Alcoholic White Trash, and it was rad. Most of the tours I have done we have organized ourselves. So usually we try to include one of the members other bands and make it a two band road show. That's the most fun because it's like a punk rock vacation with all of your bro's. And you are travelling around meeting other bands that do this only because they love it. You meet the raddest people and make the raddest friends that way. But as far as like famous bands go, the Dayglos, or the Dwarves or like, Fear or maybe Gwar.. Those bands rule and would be fun to tour with.
AU: Would any amount of money make you want to do taylor swift covers?
GINO: I'm not sure any amount of money could make us do a Talor Swft song. but I'm pretty some of the guys in the band would pay to do some awful stuff to Taylor Swift though.
Michael F. Carnage
http://www.facebook.com/thegnargnars
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